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On today’s episode we have our friends Alex Jamieson and Bob Gower joining us to talk about their new book, Getting to Hell Yes.
Alex Jamieson is a successful mentor and life & health coach for creative professional women who want it all. She’s also the bestselling author of Women, Food, and Desire as well as the co-creator and co-star of the Oscar-nominated documentary, Super Size Me.
Bob Gower helps organizations move faster, create better products, and become happier, more engaging places to work. He is an authority on agile software development, lean theory, and responsive organizational design, and he has advised leaders at numerous top companies. Bob is also the author of Agile Business and speaks regularly on organizational development and leadership.
The conversation we’re having today is about a framework that Bob and Alex have created together called “ICBD” (which stands for Intentions, Concerns, Boundaries, and Dreams or Desires). This framework is used when having difficult or high-stakes conversations, and it’s something we’ve already tried in our own lives. You’re going to hear how it can be used in conversations with your children, in your marriage, community work, business, and more!
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In This Episode
- What is “ICBD” and the reason they wrote the book [8:04]
- The process they used to write it together [12:23]
- What the conversation is – and isn’t [19:44]
- A real-life example of an ICBD conversation [24:42]
- The gift of boundaries [34:54]
- How to use this framework to end the conversation [41:59]
- Why “Hell No” isn’t such a bad thing either [55:36]
- Where this process really came from [61:44]
Selected Links from the Episode
Their New Book, Getting To Hell Yes
Episode 24: You have 4 Minutes to Change Your Life with Rebekah Boruki
Episode 15: The Well Life with Briana and Dr. Peter Borten
Perennial Seller by Ryan Holiday
The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker
Slow Sex by Nicole Daedone
Episode 86: Rachel Cargle: Unpacking White Feminism
Never Split the Difference by Christopher Voss and Tahl Raz
Getting to Yes by William Ury
Connect with Kate, Mike, Alex & Bob on Instagram!
4 Responses
Thank you for the great podcast, especially this on Getting to Hell Yes. So many times you have said exactly what I have been trying to say, only better, and this last episode was just the tool I needed to navigate an sensitive conversation and it worked! Instead of feeling like the complainer, I felt heard and closer to the person by the end of the conversation. You guys rock!
Yay! I’m completely thrilled to hear that this was helpful Kathy!
I have been using this structure with my classes of ninth graders and it’s made an incredible difference: in productivity and how much they argue with me about whether or not they were or were not doing what I’m pointing out to them. It’s such a valuable structure; I’m sharing this link with my entire school staff. Thank you!!
YES! This is so powerful! I’m going to share this with Alex and Bob!